as the buds begin to grow, our love beings to die

We're not the same, dear, as we used to be.
The seasons have changed and so have we.
There was little we could say, and even less we could do
To stop the ice from getting thinner under me and you.

We bury our love in the wintery grave
A lump in the snow was all that remained.
But we stayed by its side as the days turned to weeks
And the ice kept getting thinner with every word that we'd speak.

And when spring arrived
We were taken by surprise when the floes under our feet bled into the sea
And nothing was left for you and me.

We're not the same, dear,
And it seems to me
There's nowhere we can go
With nothing underneath.
And it saddens me to say
But we both know, well, it's true
That the ice was getting thinner
Under me and you.
The ice was getting thinner
Under me and you.

can i just post something without making sense?

how do i pick up the pieces from this broken heart on the floor
the glass shards could kill me with just a simple touch
everything was perfect from the start
nothing to worry about, the fairytales were finally coming true for me
but then we stopped talking just like that
whatever happened, i will not know
you fell for somebody else, while i'm outside waiting in the cold
knocking on your door, but there's no one inside the rooms of your heart
no more love left in my name
no more room for trust and games
you moved on to someone else, and it hurts so much to see you like that
i thought i was the only one that was meant to shoulder you with the sun
if i tell you all this, would you still smile at my name?
or have you moved on completely that my name doesn't exist
just another blur, another checkmark in your book

you said you loved me
you lead me on
how could i not develop feelings for a man like that
every mistake is a lesson learned
but you're not a mistake in my book
you can't be after all the things you said to me
i will wait for you
i will sing for you
i will write a song for you
that i was very special to you
if i was so special, why have you let me go
in such a miniscule amount of time?
there's no more chances for me to take on you anymore
except whether to continue loving you or to let you go
i'm confused inside the chambers of my soul
a light shines through but there's a bar on the door
i can't get out, there's no escape
either i hold on or fall to the ground and let go
to the cold marble floor below
maybe there would be someone there to catch me in their arms
waiting for me, telling me to trust myself to let go
but i'm afraid of the fall to the bottom
stomach comes up to my throat, a screaming blur
i break my bones or i break my heart
sacrificial pain.

i gave you my heart, and i gave you parts of me that no one has ever seen
you took me for granted, no doubt
all these lessons just leave questions bordering my mouth
was it ever really worth it?
was this really fate?
i'm still not okay, it's going to take some time
time takes time to heal these wounds you left for me
no banadage in sight except the healing hope that i should still tell you how i feel
that maybe you would return the favor
but i doubt ityour heart reaches out to someone else now
but i need to tell you how i feel
i just don't mean to make it harder on you
but if i told you, could you live with that?
i know i couldn't live with that...

just listen to how i feel if i find the heart to tell you
i don't mean to make things harder for you
i want to be there for you but how could i when you were never there for me
the reflections of my heart just stare back at me through this mirror
whatever i think or do, the opposite tends to happen
this life is putting me in a pessimistic state of mind
do i just have to think negatively in order to get to a positive experience?
it seems that's what my fate wants me to do

the things i have to do but don't wanna do
the places i have to go but i don't wanna go
exchanging one friendship for one love
reworking the words for one thing i can't get enough of
it's never quite warm when the attitude's this cold
trying to sqeeze in a revolution while still doing what i'm told
but what'll happen in the future is outside of these hands
but when i tell you this you don't want to understand
maybe i'm not the one you're looking for
maybe i'm not the one
that's supposed to shoulder your love and provide you with the sun
maybe i'm meant to be a meandering fool sitting in the rain
or maybe not, only when it's over and done with will there be an end to pain...

city and colour

Dallas Green. Guitarist and back-up vocalist for the screamo band Alexisonfire. This music is such a drastic change from his usual stylings. I prefer this kind, but I was also a big fan of Alexisonfire back in the day. What I love most about this video is that he taped it all in my wasteland of a city. I love how I can recognize every place he is within this video. The alleviating feeling of familiarity...

I heard that he still lives around here, eating cereal with orange juice in his momma's basement.

From his self-titled album, I present to you: Save Your Scissors.

So go on/And I will refrain/And I'll keep on running this neverending race/maybe next time will be the right time/and maybe next time will be your time

it's my birthday!

I blinked and I'm already 17. Where did the time go?!

Seventeen Forever - Metro Station


One year older than last January, minutes expire differently now. Shadows sprawl differently, the furnace sings differently. No longer do closed doors and locked eyes keep out what frightens, instead it takes wide-angle staring and lack of armor to take on the battlefield. No longer can warmth stop relentless shivers, dissipate cold sweat eroding my spine. The frigid bathroom tile has made friends with past-midnight, its coolness on my palms empties my lungs. After enough hours gone sleepless my hands start to shake and I hold on to nothing, literally, figuratively. I now understand that having friends doesn't protect from being an outcast, and learn to see it as a beautiful phenomenon, much like everything else buzzing around. Traffic flow becomes a steel ballet and suddenly, suddenly nothing is so bad anymore. I close my eyes and instead of dreaming, watch the shades and dots and flashes intertwine into black into white, and I know that I am alright, that everything will always be alright. I know I see things unconventionally, I know it in every gram of bone marrow and ounce of too-thin blood, and I know that one day the clock will strike a miraculous opportunity to apply my perception and create something magical. Until that epiphany, let this be a pact, a heart-crossed swear, here's to exploration and experimentation. Embracing sharp angles and worn down curves alike, seeing lack of sleep as simply more time to do something divine, and the tearful letdowns of when promising plans splinter. To let go and to let live, for as long as my bones remain solid. A new perspective and the desire to illuminate, small fragments and sepia tones, insects still walking and refurbished rubber. Here's to.

"You are young and I was scared
You're wise beyond your years
But I don't care
And I can feel your heartbeat
You know exactly where to take me

We're one mistake from being together
But let's not ask why it's not right
You won't be seventeen forever
And we can get away with this tonight

'Will you remember me?'
You ask me as I leave
'Remember what I said?'
Oh, how could I
Oh, how could I forget?"

- K is 17 in 4 hours and 48 minutes.

ch-ch-ch-ch-check it

Lemon Tree - Fools Garden

I love the beginning of this song. It reminds me that I'm in some kind of fairy tale, or nursery rhyme. It just sparks my imagination, and I picture myself as a little mouse stalking around dustry hardwood floors. Then there's this huge pie on the counter, but the giant character from Jack And The Beanstalk is there... He tries to catch me with a glass jar. But I get away, steal the pie, and somehow get the cake and myself back into my little mouse hole.
Sweet.
If you enjoy this song, listen to Man of Devotion. Another fantastic song by Fools Garden.
But for now, enjoy the musical stylings of Lemon Tree.

"I'm sitting here in a boring room
It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon
I'm wasting my time, I got nothing to do
I'm hanging around, I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens -- and I wonder
I'm driving around in my car
I'm driving too fast,
I'm driving too far
I'd like to change my point of view
I feel so lonely, I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens, and I wonder
I wonder how, I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon tree"

Absolutely in love with the lyrics. They pinpoint my mood exactly.
Don't you love when songs do that?

let it reindeer

*in Dr.Nick voice*

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY

I'm kind of tight for time here, as I'm about to head to my nonna's [grandma in italian] house for another 12 course meal. I'll update on my festivities probably later on tonight or tomorrow morning.

Until then, enjoy the musical stylings of pre-pubescent kids.

"I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
I only like hippopotamuses
And hippopotamuses like me too"

...Hippopotamuses? Is that even a word?

it's like drugs for my ears

Oh, time is leering on.
So take another breath
And taste this one more time again
Countdown, countdown, countdown to the disappointment
I'm yours tonight