Hey, kiddies.
Guess what time it is!...Maybe time for a cynical, pessimistic note?
Just maybe. Whatever pops into my head will do.
I'll try not to make it sound so negative.
However, I can guarantee you that this blog is dripping with sarcasm.
...Waiting...
Still waiting...
MY FREAKIN' GOSH. I HAVE THE BIGGEST BRAINFART IN THE WORLD.
Here are some things that have been going through my head (some from childhood, some from right now.)
1. Do ants pee and poo?
2. How do giraffes get it on (As in, "Oh baby") ?
3. What are moles made out of, and is it true that if you try to scratch it off (or do something of the sort to it.), you will get cancer?
4. Why is the birds-and-the-bees talk called...the "Birds and the Bees" talk?
5. If you are pregnant with more than triplets, will your stomach be all stretched out and stuff?
6. Why do some superheroes wear capes and underwear over their pants? That's not heroic!
7. Is Mariah Carey really human? I mean, how does she make her voice so high-pitched like that? (BESIDES HAVING A COUPLE DOZEN OCTAVES MORE THAN EVERYONE ELSE.)
8. Why are "shit", "bitch", "fuck" considered bad words? They're just synonyms for crappendoodle, canine with a vagina, and sexytime.
9. When guys are castrated, where does the castrationisthingy person put the...y'know...the stuff...? (Hopefully not in a common garbage can. Whatif someone else opens it?)
10. Who found out that you can obtain milk from squeezing a cow's udder? I mean, that person must have been extremely bored to just go up to a cow and start squeezing away. (PEE-ESS. Sexual harrassment.)
11. What's so good about smoking?
12. Are snakes slimy?
13. Why do people insist on saying "Can I ask you a question?" WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU JUST BLOODY ASKED?
14. How do you properly use chopsticks?!
Okay, I believe I have somewhat lost my sarcastic touch.
Here's a dumb moment I had:
So I was checking out this band's page, to look for their concert dates.
For some reason, the date that I had in my head was April 51st.
After not finding a concert in Toronto on the 51st, I freaked out and told my friend.
...Yeah, totally pointless.
"BITCH I LIVE IN A FUCKING TRASH CAN!"
Grab some popcorn and cuddle up for 3 minutes.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
killing your brain cells one by one
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4 comments:
1. I've always wondered that and nobody has given me an answer other than a really hard laugh.
2. no idea xD
3. I never heard that before o.O is it true?
4. same as 2
5. of course it does! and after the delivery, because they were so many (3 is a lot) the skin of your stomach looses all the elasticity it ever had and you have to go to the surgeon.
6. it is only not heroic, but also a turn off.
7. lol. she's actually a robot built by aliens who were jealous of Aretha Franklin and Beyonce's voice and they sent her to piss them off.
8. have you ever seen a movie called Saved? it's about a christian 15 year old girl who gets pregnant and starts thinking and doubting about christianity. one day she's pissed off and stares at this huge cross and says "fuck. shit." like expecting to get killed and nothing happens. she does it to prove everyone wrong. and she's actually right, God doesn't punish you, you punish yourself and tell yourself that you deserverd it because you didn't obey God's rule, so you literally blame it on him.
9. same as 2 and 4... maybe they burn them?
10. best question ever xD this one made me laugh SO HARD xD
11. can't stand some smells, but I gotta admit, some people (like The Strokes and Mike Carden) actually look kinda cool doing it.
12. so you won't see them when they bite you?
13. GOOD ONE!!! I hate when they do that. and when they do I actually say "no. fuck off" (only sometimes xD I try to be nice but some people really piss me off)
14. don't they come with an instruction manual? or have you ever asked a chinese to teach you to use them?
um... 51st as in day? that comment made my night xD
lol brainfart.
i'm guessing giraffes do the dirty like most four legged mammals xD
"9. When guys are castrated, where does the castrationisthingy person put the...y'know...the stuff...? (Hopefully not in a common garbage can. Whatif someone else opens it?)" ahah haven' u seen meet the fockers? they keep it and put it in thwir baby albums (: jk. :P . btw is it just me or do these word verifications sound very suggestive to you?
Rofl, you're a riot! thanks for commenting my pics!
A few answers that come to mind...
3. why would you want to scratch a mole off
4. because birds and bees carry pollen (sperm) from one flower to another to, erm, fertilize them. it's chloro-sexy.
5. i have always wondered and secretly feared that.
7. no.
8. crappendoodle is way more creative and fun to say. basically the more syllables it has the less likely it is to be considered vulgar by the population at large.
10. another thing i have always wondered. it always pisses me off when i go to farms...
14. you gotta be an amazin' azn!
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