Friday, April 24, 2009

things i would like to contradict

Okay, so I pretty much hate it when people make up things like

'Girls love it when guys smell and play with their hair...'

or

'We flip our hair to make guys notice us.'

(Okay, my examples suck. But you get the point, don't you? No? Not my fault.)


These are some more things that I found from some group on facebook, and I decided to write this, because once again, I am bored out of my mind.


"We always need to hear we're beautiful"
No. Just... no. Not ALWAYS. It's nice to know that someone thinks you're beautiful, but you don't always need to hear it, ya vain betch.


"It's every girls dream to have a guy call her at 3AM just to tell her 'I love you'"
Umm... I guess it's a sweet gesture, but could you possibly pick a better time to call? Because at 3 AM, I'm probably sleeping and would rip your head off if you interrupted my sleep. kthxbai.


"We spend too much time thinking about things that will never happen and dressing up for the boy that will never care."
Oh, really? I dress according to the weather and the occasion.


"I tell you I love you hoping to hear it back, but when you don't tell me, it makes me want to die because without you, I am ALONE!"
Oh man, I'm glad this whole "I love you" business came up. Listen, if you've only been going out for a while, you shouldn't be saying that. Wanna hear the truth? Most of the time, it's not LOVE. That word is used so loosely nowadays...


"We'd go 400 miles to pick up your dirty laundry hoping you'd do the same."
... Maybe... as long as they didn't soil their underwear. Hopefully it's not crusty at all.


"We look at other couples & our hearts weaken with disappointment and wonder what the hell we did wrong."
Meh... sometimes? But if the other couples I see are making out, I'm out of there in a second. NOT because my 'heart weakens with disappointment', but because I don't fancy seeing them swapping spit.


"Sometimes, we just hate to see other people happy."
How cruel.


"When we walk away and tell you not to follow, we are screaming on the inside for you to just chase us."
Holy shit, you want stalkers!


"I talked louder and laughed harder just to get you to look my way."
Desperate, maybe? Come on, if they liked you, you wouldn't have to do all of that. Besides, you'll look like a complete psycho.


"Some things you can't see with your eyes, only with your heart."
Oh sorry, my heart must need glasses... contacts... a monocle... something.


"I took a little extra time in the morning to make sure I looked perfect for you"
Nope. I woke up five minutes late, sat up and fell asleep in that position for five minutes more, showered, got dressed, (but forgot to brush my hair so I did it in school.), ate, brushed my teeth, and practically fell on my face trying to get to school on time.

"We want you to hold our hand. It makes us feel special and safe"
Maybe... But my hands are usually cold, and get even colder when I'm nervous... So please, DON'T hold my hand. I might freeze you by accident.


"Don't just say 'I love you' when we are fighting. Sure it makes us feel good, but don't use that to get out of trouble."
"YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT!"
"I HATE YOU!"
"SKANK!"
"DOUCHEBAG!"
"I LOVE YOU!"
WHAT!?


"Once you make us laugh when we think there's nothing to worth smiling about... you're stuck with us for good"
Slightly creepy.


"When another girl texts you, calls you, or even talks to you we are waiting for the second alone to check this person out and see what reason they have to be talking to you, because you're mine and that's all i want you to be."
No! It's not a healthy relationship if you feel the need to check on them everytime someone of the opposite sex tries to communicate with them. Learn how to trust.


"When you're with your friends, show us off and make us feel important."
Okay, you wanna be shown off and displayed like a trophy? Ha.


"Love is a game meant for two. Only two."
It shoudn't even be a game.


"Even though we say we're fine with you having friends that are girls it's not always true."
Shit, join some sort of support group! You need to learn how to trust people. My god.

And I'm done.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

the message

Saturday, April 18, 2009

if only i could explain

If only I could explain the truths of this world, the messed up meanings of utter significance and the facts in which life itself throws so unexpectedly into our hearts. How can we live and love, learn and grow, when so many setbacks threaten to push us down, stomp our fire out and watch as we crumbled under our own weight?

And if this is true, how can we dream, when dreams but only lead to death itself for death is the only ending, the place in which we will all succumb to one day more. Oh the bitter irony it feels to me, the twisted fate that we all must find ourselves ever working towards. When one must live, so must one die, but when one dies, others find no more will to live.

Hardships happen and those may put a notch in our lives, but when death happens, when its irresistable call pulls us all away, one by one, there is more then just a notch thrown. More then just an insignificant event.

No, when death is evident, life itself stops. The tears of bitter reality, and the truths behind untold words make life itself one less place to feel home. One by one we perish. One by one we watch as each one of us falls from grace and leaves this world for something... or maybe nothing. Maybe death itself is but a word to describe the nothingness in which we feel the moment someone slips through our grasps.

All I know, all I could possibly tell you is that this life, this one heart that beats within my breast, the one dream in which carries itself is the one thing that pushes me forwards when death's call pulls another away.

Respect the dead, but go on living, no matter the pain, the suffering, the heartache. Never falter, always hold your head high, and never let go.

Dedicated to: Grant Smith, Mrs Crane, and Mr.Mahler...

-

3 deaths in one month. It takes its toll on you.

as the buds begin to grow, our love beings to die



We're not the same, dear, as we used to be.
The seasons have changed and so have we.
There was little we could say, and even less we could do
To stop the ice from getting thinner under me and you.

We bury our love in the wintery grave
A lump in the snow was all that remained.
But we stayed by its side as the days turned to weeks
And the ice kept getting thinner with every word that we'd speak.

And when spring arrived
We were taken by surprise when the floes under our feet bled into the sea
And nothing was left for you and me.

We're not the same, dear,
And it seems to me
There's nowhere we can go
With nothing underneath.
And it saddens me to say
But we both know, well, it's true
That the ice was getting thinner
Under me and you.
The ice was getting thinner
Under me and you.

Monday, April 13, 2009

where the wild poo is



poo just seems 10x more fascinating now.

but i am a butterfly, you wouldn't let me die

To live was one thing. To love, now that was something else entirely. Under what pretences do I speak of such a thing as love? Merely a thought maybe? Or maybe a strange twist in fate that brought me here, sitting before my computer screen with but a cup of tea and a cloudy afternoon? I could not tell you, for I myself cannot quite put words to why this is being spoken to you. Maybe, maybe because I found something like belonging in these words. A sanctuary in these solemn few sentences that I call home. Maybe, it’s the solidarity of a surrounding that is not unstable, untruthful.

For the pages of a book are always truthful. They never change, never lie. They never cheat you out of the ending that will always come, no matter how many pages you turn, how many times your eyes have scanned the same familiar sentences. To live, learn, and love are things in this world that have become something of a passion of mine, but the risk, the freedom in this life, is something that scares me beyond comprehension. The pages of a book, they are safe.

So I write to you, not of those harsh realities that come in all the wrong time, or maybe, that’s exactly what I have been writing all this time. Maybe, these sentences are filled with but a brief revelation of the sights my own eyes have seen, or the mere idea that I have never before found something more hope enduring, more soulful, more immaculate, then the words that I speak, the pictures I sew with but a few words, and the need.

The rain patters against my window now, slow, ongoing. I can hear it’s drone as I type, my own heart pattering along with the ever persistent barrage. I let its steady rhythm take hold of me once more, but the risk to step outside, to let the rain envelope me in its cool, bitter dance, was something I could not find myself doing.

So I sit here, watching through parted curtains, as the rain falls, and wish that maybe someday, I would dance among it and leave all my fears, all my inhibitions behind. That day, that day will be the day that I can finally live again.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

babycakes... or infatuation.

WARNING: this is probably going to be a preposterous rant.

i don't really mean to get too personal on this blog, but something has been "erging" me for quite some time. it has to do with one of my best friends, and her year 1/2 boyfriend. the thing is, we used to be so close a year 1/2 ago. we were inseperable, the best of friends that two people could ever be. but then she got a boyfriend. and since then, both of them, have been INFATUATED with each other. because of that, our friendship has sorta been on the decline. she spends all her time with him, they talk to each other 24/7, and whenever we hang out, either two of these situations happen:
A) he comes along, and snags her all to himself. and i'm talking about the whole idea of PDA. also, a bunch of mushy stuff being said to each other, which leads to awkward social advances on my part.
or
B) invariably texts him, or he texts her. i try and have a conversation with her, but half the time she's too pre-occupied on her cellphone, musing about her "babycakes"

it kind of makes me want to gag in my mouth. not to be mean or anything, it just gets to me. before we had this whole friendship based on scheming plans, gossipping and having a good time all around. but now, our friendship has just sort of fizzed out ever since her boyfriend came along.

but the main reason why i seem to throw up in my mouth everytime i'm around them is because, as stated earlier, they are infatuated. with everything about each other. proof:

3) Do you get along with this person all the time?
99.999999% onlya 0.000001% of us not gettin along which makes it never=D

13) How many times do you talk to this person during a week?
all day, everyday 24/7 baby♥=-D

21) If you ever moved away would you miss this person?
I'd die and do whatever i could to stay with my babycakes♥=] I never ever wanna be appart from herr♥♥=]

28) If you could give this person one thing what would it be?
my heart,my soul, my mind she's already got em though♥=D

47) Do you like this person?
I LOVE HER SOO MUCH AND MORE AND FOREVER TILL ETERNITY AND LONGER THAN THAT♥♥=D!!!!


AND THAT'S THE GUY TALKING. sure, it's cute and stuff. but gag me [haha always wanted to say that... ZING xD] it gets really sickening. i don't believe that can be love at all. it's infatuation, INFATUATION, I TELL YA. love deals with ups and downs. pain. suffering to be with the person. it's a roller coaster ride, it's not all peaches and cream. they have not been in a single argument - ever. that's disgusting. i shouldn't rationalize here, but if they haven't been in an argument, or some petty little fight, then it can't be love. i think that love is like sailing the ocean. there will be waves and storms. but if you can sail through it together, and fight the forces of nature, you will eventually get to dry land.
as far as i'm concerned, my friend is just walking along the shore with her boyfriend, completely disregarding the fact that in order to get to the other side, they need to pace through the water.

it's crazy, so hard to explain. and it sucks that i'm wasting a blog post on something so completely and utterly stupid.

because i know i'm going to eat my words one day.

Friday, April 10, 2009

saturday mornings













whatever happened to enjoyable, fulfilling saturday morning cartoons?

too young to fight it



typewriterblues

seriously... this little blurb could be like the epitome of my life.

--

anyways, happy easter to all. whether you're religious or not, hope you have a "CRACKIN" [read: egg] time!

...

wow, that was lame.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

i'll tell you a tale i know nothing about

Ladies and Gentlemen, skinny and stout,
I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about;
The Admission is free, so pay at the door,
Now pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight;
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.

A blind man came to watch fair play,
A mute man came to shout "Horray!"
A deaf policeman heard the noise and
Came to stop those two dead boys.

He lived on the corner in the middle of the block,
In a two-story house on a vacant lot;
A man with no legs came walking by,
and kicked the lawman in his thigh.

He crashed through a wall without making a sound,
into a dry creek bed and suddenly drowned;
The long black hearse came to cart him away,
But he ran for his life and is still gone today.

I watched from the corner of the big round table,
The only eyewitness to facts of my fable;
But if you doubt my lies are true,
Just ask the blind man, he saw it too

well, it's just me

I think it's fitting for an update. Small little one, or a big one, I have yet to decide. But, whatever. FLOW.

So I watched Slumdog Millionaire last night. I actually found it to be... kind of... mediocre? No doubt that the cinematography was amazing and such. But it just seemsed so slow. I'm not going to give away the plot line here, because maybe some of you haven't seen the movie. Even though it's won a handful of Academy Awards, I just didn't find it all that interesting. But I did like the little dance at the end...

I've also found myself pretty obsessed with the 16th century. Yes, the times full of lepracy, small pox, and beheading. The medieval times. I really wish I could go back in time and just live through it. But not as some peasent, hell no. But as royalty. Living in those extravagent castles, with a moat and drawbridge. Then those dresses! Now, I'm not a big fan of dresses, don't get me wrong. But if anyone has seen the movie The Other Boleyn Girl... the dresses breathtaking. Even though they might be hell'a uncomfortable, I DON'T CARE. THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL. AND I WANT ONE. NOW!
*throws hissy fit*
If I couldn't live in the medieval times, I would settle for Victorian times.



Anyways, this morning I went to church because it was Palm Sunday. And this Mr. Bean episode was constantly playing through my head.



Classic. He was the epitome of my childhood. Gotta love Bean.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

adventures down aisle 9

So today,
I went to the grocery store.
I was in the frozen section asking my mom if the frozen garlic fingers were any good and then this totally wasted guy comes up beside me and gets some Hungryman Dinners.
He's like "WHAT'RE YOU LOOKING FOR" to which I reply, ''Debating on whether to get frozen garlic fingers or not.''
I ask him if they're any good, then he ponders for a moment, and says "WELL they'd taste better if you made them yourself... I'm a chef by trade."
So he's holding a bunch of hungrymans in his hand telling us he's a chef, then he goes "Oh these are for emergencies."

Then, he asks me if I know how to make basic bread.
I say no.
So then he starts teaching me how to make bread.

Now, mind you, my mom walked away at this point..
And so i'm standing there drinking a Fanta slushee mixed w/ C-plus cream soda (which tastes like clouds and happiness by the way) chatting away with a drunk dude who reeks of booze and cigarettes.

This dude is a living legend.
He was teaching me how to make bread,
while he was wasted.
Like imagine, what he does when he's not wasted.
He deserves an award ASAP.

 
blog design by suckmylolly.com