what i've learned

There is something that I will never forget someone saying to me. I don't even remember their face or their name, but I just remember what they said and the significance that it had on me.

"History is such a long time ago, everyone says that. But that's my point. That's why we can't forget it. No matter how much time has passed, these things still affect us and the world we live in. If you don't pay attention to the past, you'll never understand the future. It's all linked together. You see what I'm saying?"

At first, I didn't. But then I realized they were right.

1. The past did affect the present and the future, in the ways you could see and a million ones you couldn't. Time wasn't a thing you could divide easily; there was no defined middle, beginning or end. I could pretend to leave the past behind, but it would not leave me. When I thought about it, it creeped me out a bit, as I was still little, so I grabbed a CD from my pile in my closet and put the closest blank CD in. When I hit the PLAY button, all I could hear was static, and I settled in and waited for the first song to begin. It didn't, though. Not in the next few minutes, not ever. Then I realized: the CD was blank. Maybe it was a spare CD, but then again, maybe it meant something profund. But as I sat there, it only seemed like silence filling my ears. And the thing was, it was so loud.It was the weirdest thing, so different from music. The sound was nothing, empty, but at the same time, it pushed everything else out, quieting me enough that I began to be able to make out something distant, almost hard to hear. But it was there, softly, coming to me from some dark place I'd never seen but somehow, someway, knew so well. I knew that if I stayed where I was, in all that quiet, and didn't run from it, I would hear it. I'd have to go back in my memory, but that was okay. It was the only way to get to the end. Because that is what happens when you try to run from the past. It doesn't just catch up: it overtakes, blotting out the future, the landscape, the very sky, until there is no path left except the one that leads through it, the only one that can ever get you home.

2. All my life, I realized, I'd only seen people as one way, as if it was the only way they could be. One weak, one strong. One scared, one bold. I was beginning to understand though that there was no such thing as absolutes, not in life or in people. It was day by day, if not moment by moment. All you could do was take on as much weight as you can bear. And if you're lucky, there's someone close enough to shoulder the rest.

3. I think that in order to get the most out of your experiences, both good and bad, you have to think of the future. The bigger picture. Think about tomorrow, a month from now, a year from now. Maybe even forever. Forever is so many different things. It's always changing, it's what everything is really about. It's twenty minutes, or a hundred years, or just this instant, or any instant you wished could last and last. But there was only one truth about forever that really mattered, and that is this: it's happening. Right now, and every moment afterwards. Now. Now. Now.

4. It's a lot easier to be lost than found. It's the reason we're always searching, and rarely discovered - so many locks, not enough keys. That's why you're always told that if you ever get lost and keep walking around and searching, you're bound to get even more lost. But if you stay put and try to survive, someone is ought to come and help. While you're staying put, gather food and find a good shelter to help protect you. Same goes with life - if you're lost or searching for something you haven't found, stay where you are and assess your situation. Be prepared. Never give up because somewhere along the way, you'll figure out where you are and where you need to go next. Find that key and unlock it to a brand new path. Because underneath every bad experience is a good one.

It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.-- William Shakespeare