Friday, April 24, 2009

things i would like to contradict

Okay, so I pretty much hate it when people make up things like

'Girls love it when guys smell and play with their hair...'

or

'We flip our hair to make guys notice us.'

(Okay, my examples suck. But you get the point, don't you? No? Not my fault.)


These are some more things that I found from some group on facebook, and I decided to write this, because once again, I am bored out of my mind.


"We always need to hear we're beautiful"
No. Just... no. Not ALWAYS. It's nice to know that someone thinks you're beautiful, but you don't always need to hear it, ya vain betch.


"It's every girls dream to have a guy call her at 3AM just to tell her 'I love you'"
Umm... I guess it's a sweet gesture, but could you possibly pick a better time to call? Because at 3 AM, I'm probably sleeping and would rip your head off if you interrupted my sleep. kthxbai.


"We spend too much time thinking about things that will never happen and dressing up for the boy that will never care."
Oh, really? I dress according to the weather and the occasion.


"I tell you I love you hoping to hear it back, but when you don't tell me, it makes me want to die because without you, I am ALONE!"
Oh man, I'm glad this whole "I love you" business came up. Listen, if you've only been going out for a while, you shouldn't be saying that. Wanna hear the truth? Most of the time, it's not LOVE. That word is used so loosely nowadays...


"We'd go 400 miles to pick up your dirty laundry hoping you'd do the same."
... Maybe... as long as they didn't soil their underwear. Hopefully it's not crusty at all.


"We look at other couples & our hearts weaken with disappointment and wonder what the hell we did wrong."
Meh... sometimes? But if the other couples I see are making out, I'm out of there in a second. NOT because my 'heart weakens with disappointment', but because I don't fancy seeing them swapping spit.


"Sometimes, we just hate to see other people happy."
How cruel.


"When we walk away and tell you not to follow, we are screaming on the inside for you to just chase us."
Holy shit, you want stalkers!


"I talked louder and laughed harder just to get you to look my way."
Desperate, maybe? Come on, if they liked you, you wouldn't have to do all of that. Besides, you'll look like a complete psycho.


"Some things you can't see with your eyes, only with your heart."
Oh sorry, my heart must need glasses... contacts... a monocle... something.


"I took a little extra time in the morning to make sure I looked perfect for you"
Nope. I woke up five minutes late, sat up and fell asleep in that position for five minutes more, showered, got dressed, (but forgot to brush my hair so I did it in school.), ate, brushed my teeth, and practically fell on my face trying to get to school on time.

"We want you to hold our hand. It makes us feel special and safe"
Maybe... But my hands are usually cold, and get even colder when I'm nervous... So please, DON'T hold my hand. I might freeze you by accident.


"Don't just say 'I love you' when we are fighting. Sure it makes us feel good, but don't use that to get out of trouble."
"YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT!"
"I HATE YOU!"
"SKANK!"
"DOUCHEBAG!"
"I LOVE YOU!"
WHAT!?


"Once you make us laugh when we think there's nothing to worth smiling about... you're stuck with us for good"
Slightly creepy.


"When another girl texts you, calls you, or even talks to you we are waiting for the second alone to check this person out and see what reason they have to be talking to you, because you're mine and that's all i want you to be."
No! It's not a healthy relationship if you feel the need to check on them everytime someone of the opposite sex tries to communicate with them. Learn how to trust.


"When you're with your friends, show us off and make us feel important."
Okay, you wanna be shown off and displayed like a trophy? Ha.


"Love is a game meant for two. Only two."
It shoudn't even be a game.


"Even though we say we're fine with you having friends that are girls it's not always true."
Shit, join some sort of support group! You need to learn how to trust people. My god.

And I'm done.

2 comments:

Amandasaurus said...

Wow yeah those are some demanding gals you stole those statements from. These are like, rules for dating girls in high school/younger than sixteen years old who don't know what a real relationship looks like.

The thing about the L-word has always bothered me, too. I also tend to throw it around (like "I LOVE ICE CREAM!" and "I LOVE THE SHINS!") but I'm very careful using it towards people I'm in relationships with.

chia said...

"We'd go 400 miles to pick up your dirty laundry hoping you'd do the same."

-why would girls want to do this?!!!!

 
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