it's finally the day...

tomorrow. do or die. may day. i'm going to somehow, someway be able to have some sort of communication with him. even though i'm going on a field trip, in which he will not be attending, i will get my friend to give him my email.

pretty low, ain't it?

but i don't care. exactly one month from today and school is over. which could mean that i will never see his virile face again. even though i've waited a good 2 years to talk to this fellow, i feel that i can't take it anymore. seeing him around, and never striking up a 'hey, how do you do?' [in the most awkward way possible, obviously]. i feel that i'm now ready to do something about this petty little crush.

i'm definitely preparing myself for the worst, though. because, how odd would that be? someone's friend coming up to you, who you've never talked to before, giving you your "admirer's" email. i doubt he'll even add me, but i'm willing to deal with that consequence. as long as i know that i'm putting myself out there. the uncertainty is just giving me an adrenaline rush right now. at least i won't have to live in regret with all the "woulda, coulda, shoulda's" that would harvest in my mind.

tying my heart on a bird's foot, setting it free of captivity, and hoping that the addressee would read and return this precarious heart. that's all i'm asking for.